Sunday, May 1, 2011

Heeeeere's Tommy

Tom Hanks is the best actor currently in the business.
This is not a statement of opinion.
It is a fact.
I mean . . . just look at that face.
(not to mention that shirt)
Pure. Talent.

My friends and I keep talking about having a Tom Hanks marathon, so I've taken it upon myself to write the official Tom Hanks' Movies To Watch list. Some I've seen already, but I'm willing to watch them again to spread the love of Tom to my less-obsessed pals. Here we go. Feel free to follow suit.

Those I've Seen

1. You've Got Mail
This is my all-time favorite movie (along with Forgetting Sarah Marshall). My ultimate dream in life is to be Kathleen Kelly and I will achieve it some day. I watch this movie at least once a month, so it'll be interesting to see if my friends take the bait to watch it again.

2. That ThingYou Do!
Cute boy band? Check. Liv Tyler? Check. Catchy soundtrack? Check. 60s wardrobe? Check. I don't see what's not to love.

3. Big
I cannot believe that most of my friends haven't seen this movie. As if we needed further proof that I watched too much television growing up. I'll admit, it's incredibly far-fetched. I just can't help but love a movie featuring a kid in a grown-up's body or vice versa (e.g. Freaky Friday, 17 Again, etc).

4. Forrest Gum
Well, obviously.

5. Dragnet
It's been ages since I've seen this movie. It was on television while I was at my dad's one weekend, and I remember thinking Dan Aykroyd's character was funny, but wondering why they were sacrificing virgins. Clearly, it's time for me to revisit this gem.

6. Sleepless in Seattle
Most of my friends haven't seen this one either, which is really just depressing. I'm hoping they don't find Meg Ryan's stalker-like-tendencies too creepy. Maybe they'll be too busy realizing that Tom and Meg are MFEO (watch the movie).

Those I Haven't Seen

1. The Green Mile
I was still quite a few years away from being allowed to watch R rated movies when this was released. I know I'm going to cry when I see it. There's just no avoiding it.

2. Bachelor Party
I remember seeing Adrian Zmed talk about this on VH1's "I Love the 80's" (I went through an "I Love the 80's" phase several years ago). Now I have a feeling this is where they may have gotten the idea for The Hangover.

3. Saving Private Ryan
Does it count if I watched the first 20 minutes in American History my junior year of high school? No? Ok, ok. You've twisted my arm. (Wasn't that difficult?)

5. Joe Versus the Volcano
Yes, I listed Tom and Meg's other romantic classics above. Yes, it's embarrassing for this title to be on this half of the list. I remember why I never wanted to watch it. I don't like volcanos. Yes, it sounds as stupid to me as it does to you.

So gang, that is the list. I have no real rationale for why I chose these movies and not others. To tell you the truth, it pained me to have to make cuts. But I'm happy with what I have and will do my best to include the others as soon as possible. I am an equal opportunity Tom Hanks fan.

There are 11 movies on it. That's 1,249 minutes of Tom Hanks. Over 20 hours.

I'll go start popping the popcorn.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Becoming the Ideal Woman . . . by 19th Century Standards

If I've learned anything in my days as an English major, it's that girls are supposed to idolize Jane Austen. If that's the case, I must not be a very good girl. I respect Ms. Austen and her success, but every time I start one of her novels, I realize halfway through that it's just like the last one. Yes, I realize I'm committing literary blasphemy.

However, Jane has taught me more than I'm giving her credit for. The women she writes about, of early nineteenth century Britain, are required to nail down a few hobbies early in life. What else are they supposed to do? They weren't allowed to go to school or work. Instead, they spent their time parlour (spelled the British way, of course)-sitting, sewing, reading, drawing, etc. while the men were off trying to find their daughters suitable husbands.

Now, just so we're clear, I consider myself to be a feminist. I'm all about women's rights. I just think every gal should have a few things they enjoy doing in their free time. As much as I'd like to claim watching Netflix and/or eating Oreos as a hobby, it doesn't make me sound very accomplished.

So, here you have it. A list of hobbies for me to pursue once I've ended my career as a student (which is approaching all to quickly).

1. Sewing
---This is a lost art. I only had a handful of outfits growing up that were store-bought. The rest were 100% Becky. My mom knows her way around a Singer. That's a sewing machine for the sewing illiterate like me. Mom would wander around stores like OshKosh B'Gosh and Baby Gap, scope out the cutest outfits, and then promptly replicate said outfit with the help of a McCall's sewing pattern. But eventually, I grew "too cool" for homemade clothes. As of August, I will be jobless, and therefore, penniless. Suddenly, my mom's hobby doesn't sound too bad.

2. Photography
---On the other end of the spectrum, we have my dad. My dad majored in photojournalism and has worked in a warehouse for an electric company my entire life. He's consistently kept photography as a hobby, buying antique cameras at garage sales and periodically converting closets into darkrooms. I can't sketch or paint like the women of Jane Austen, but there has to be something artistic I'm good at. I like to think of myself as a creative mind, even if only marginally.

I can't wait until one day my kids are saying, "My mom majored in English, but now she's a [what? Finish that sentence. Please! Someone finish that sentence!]. She still likes to read though."

*Handwriting Analysis
I don't know if this is a real hobby, and I don't know if this is what it's called. But for years now, I've been wanting a book that will tell me how to interpret different types of handwriting. Don't ask me why. I know it's random.

This one is almost too obvious. Let me clarify something. I know how to cook. My mother is one of the best southern cooks on the planet (in my humble opinion), and I've been watching her for over 20 years. I know how to follow recipes, boil, baste, and bake. I just don't. Who has time? One day, I'll be a pro. Especially if I can just have someone to clean up the mess I leave in my wake.

This is a joke.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

To-Do This Semester

Graduation is looming. It's like Christmas is in three days and I haven't bought any gifts. There is so much to do and very little time to do it. Well, the time is probably somewhere, but my long-standing love for procrastination keeps me from using my time well.

Whilst writing out my to-do list for the week, I began to reflect on all of the other to-dos I have swirling around in the back of my mind these days.

1. Trudge my way through final papers.
---I have done pretty well in college thus far. I refuse to let schoolwork get in the way of all the fun I could and should be having these last few weeks. One problem: I don't actually know how to not care about school. I make A's. Ok, and maybe some B's. I keep trying to make myself not care about grades, but the truth is, I just have a natural overachiever instinct buried deep within me. Trust me, I'm trying to get rid of it.

2. Estudiar para espanol.
---Don't even get me started. I have no clue what I'll be doing next year, but I have a sneaking suspicion my very b-r-o-k-e-n attempts at a foreign language are not going to aid me all that much.

3. Get an inspection sticker
---It expired in January. Whoops.

4. Too many lingerie showers
---Ok. I know I go to a Christian institution. I've had to bear the brunt of my fair share of M-R-S degree jokes. But really girls? I know what you're up to. You think you're sneaky. Don't worry. I'm not mad! If anything, I applaud your genius. Convincing your honey to propose just in time to have a lingerie shower before summer break? Classic. You've forgotten one thing, though. You're not alone. About 17 others have sent me that same Evite. I love you all. I really do. Even though I did
just click "Maybe Attending."

Please don't take it personally. I am poor and I refuse to be that friend who shows up present-less (or worse, with some sort of tacky gag gift) and proceeds to eat all your delicious desserts. I have some dignity after all.

5. Find an apartment in Dallas.
---I am broke and minus a job for next year. If I can't even afford a weekend trip to Dallas (gas, food, and the stupid, but let's face it, inevitable, trip to the nearest mall) to look for an apartment, what in the world makes me think I'll be able to pay an actual rent for an actually bearable living space?

6. The Biggie: Job Hunt
---Ew. Ew. Ew.

I'm still waiting for that magic phone call with someone on the other line saying, "Hey Emily! We'd love to hire you for [insert dream job] starting in August. Are you interested?" Well sure! Since you've been so kind to offer.

I have a news flash for you. It's not easy to find a job. Especially when you have no idea what you want to do.

I'm expecting this to be on my list for a while . . .